Just when everything in my life is chilled for a while. No drama with friends, almost a week since a hardcore argument with the parents. This happens. Fuck this. Youapos;re a dick and I hate you. I cannot believe you would do this to me. Hurt me more than I think Iapos;ve ever been hurt. Itapos;s like you went and found the thing that would piss me off the most. Alcohol, and some other girl. Are you fucking kidding me? Why would you do that? You tell me how much you love me, and I still believe you. Why canapos;t I be stronger. Just say fuck you, you hurt me, Iapos;m done. I canapos;t do it. And no matter how many movies Iapos;ve seen, books Iapos;ve read, experiences Iapos;ve been through, I partly blame myself. I know that if this wasnapos;t my problem, and it happened to someone else, I would tell them that it wasnapos;t their fault at all, but you know me, Iapos;m some kind of mutant, and can a guy really deal with that. Iapos;ll try to forgive you this time, just because Iapos;m not strong enough to do otherwise, but this is it. One chance, because I donapos;t think I can emotionally stand something like this ever again. One chance. To some up it all. Fuck you, youapos;re a dick and I canapos;t believe you did this to me. I hate you, and itapos;s going to take me forever to get over this, and I love you, so Iapos;m going to try, but if shit like this happens again, Iapos;m done.
I feel a little better now, thanks to my rant. But the fact that my parents and my little sister witnessed a mental breakdown last night, and no one even bothered to ask what was wrong (not that I would have told them anyways) or if I was okay, pisses me off too. Gah. I need to read, and talk to fucking Kristen Nicole, who is still sleeping.
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